cforms contact form by delicious:days

Over the last 85 years our family has successfully bully-proofed tens of thousands of children. And now we’ve made our complete system available on DVD and in online streaming video format so you can teach your child how to detect, deter, and deal with bullies – all from the comfort of your own home!

With the Gracie Bullyproof system you will empower your child with the verbal strategies to stand up to bullies with unshakable confidence, and a series of non-violent self-defense techniques to keep them safe if they are physically attacked.

Gracie Bullyproof has already been featured on NBC, CNN, and Oprah.com as an effective counter-measure to bullying. The program is engaging, fun, and will ensure that your son or daughter does not have to go through life at the mercy of tormenting bullies. Absolutely no experience is necessary to get started! Most importantly, always remember to keep it fun! We look forward to meeting you and your family one day.”

For more information on the Gracie Jiu Jitsu Academy, including their youth programs and one very special kid’s story, please visit the official website.

e

Click here to view the embedded video.

cforms contact form by delicious:days

continued from Page 1

feel sick more than ever. Be observant of any unusual behavior, attitude changes and avoidance of social activities, and gently approach your child about these issues to see if bullying is the cause.

4. Stop Bullying in Progress: Many adults stay out of bullying incidents because they want kids to work it out together. The problem is kids usually don’t work things out and the bullying only continues to get worse when left alone. Parents can’t be afraid to stop bullying incidents in progress and break things up. Even children can prevent or stop bullying incidents in progress by verbally or physically defending the victim and displaying their moral engagement. Intervening in a bullying incident gives parents a chance to set things straight with both children and protect the victim from further harm. Most bullying incidents take place after school, so a parent might be able to observe a confrontation at this time. Parents should encourage their kids to stop bullying in progress, whether they interject or get a school official to. No one should turn their back on a bullying incident. Period.
5. Do Not Encourage Physical Retaliation: Never encourage physical retaliation as a means to prevent bullying. No matter how mad you are that your child has been bullied, you can’t fight abuse with abuse. Not only does fighting completely contradict this moral lesson, but it could also get your son or daughter suspended, expelled or make the situation worse. Teach your child to ignore bullies and walk away before anyone gets physical, then report the event to a school official or someone of authority.
6. Contact School Officials: One surefire way to prevent bullying is to bring it to the school’s attention. Parents should contact school officials, such as teachers, principals and school counselors and give them factual information about the bullying events. It’s important to emphasize that you expect the bullying to stop and will work closely with the school staff to find a solution for your child and other victims of bullying. School officials will contact the parents of the child who was bullying to make them aware of the issue and set up parent-teacher conferences if need be.
7. Help Your Child be Resilient: As you work with your child and school officials to put an end to the bullying incidents, you can help your child become more resilient to bullying. Shifting their attention towards something positive will help them overcome the emotional effects of being bullied. You should encourage your kids to develop new talents or participate in positive activities, such as art, sports or music to highlight their positive attributes and help them make new friends outside of class.

cforms contact form by delicious:days

continued from Page 2

8. Teach Moral Values and Give Love at Home: As a parent, you have a direct influence on your child’s social behavior, beliefs and treatment of others. Children who bully generally come from homes that lack warmth, supervision and parent involvement, and emphasize harsh, physical discipline and bullying. It’s never too late for parents to teach moral values and ethical behavior to their kids. Children should feel safe and loved in their home, and there should always be open lines of communication between parents and their children. In order to prevent bullying, you can’t allow bullying in your household either.
9. Set Clear Rules in Your House: If your son or daughter bullies other children, you need to take this issue very seriously and nip it in the bud before it worsens. Parents of bullies should take an active role to stop bullying and prevent it. One way to curb bullying is to set clear rules in your house and make it clear that bullying will not be tolerated under any circumstances. In addition, teach children about genuine empathy and help them understand the impact of their behavior.
10. Join or Start a Bullying Prevention Group: Parents can stay involved in the school’s efforts to prevent bullying and take a proactive stance on this serious issue. You can do so by joining or starting a bullying prevention group that puts this real life issue into perspective for parents. No one person can stop bullying alone, nor should it be the sole responsibility of a school official. Parents, teachers, principals, administrators and counselors should work together to prevent bullying at schools. They can meet to discuss bullying issues at the school and report incidents, as well as plan bullying prevention rules, policies and activities that will make a difference in the culture of the school.




*Special Thanks to Sue Scheff for granting 3V Learning permission to reprint this blog. Any reprinting of this material from 3VLearning.com without express permission of Sue Scheff or appropriate parties is not permitted.

Links to valuable sites associated with Sue Scheff and her organization P.U.R.E. (Parents’ Universal Resource Experts):

cforms contact form by delicious:days

Recent events have revealed just how rampant and cruel the bullying problem has become. The days of letting kids work things out by themselves or encouraging them to hash things out by the playground are long gone, as these strategies are proving to be much more dangerous than they once were. One thing is certain — parents play a huge role in the school bullying solution. Whether your kid is the aggressor or the victim, your words and support may be the most important tools in solving the problem. Here are 10 ways parents can prevent bullying:

1. Talk to Your Kids: You may talk to your kids about homework, grades and school activities every day, but there are bigger issues happening in school that deserve to be discussed, as well. Bullying is a serious topic that parents and kids seem to skirt over far too often. An effective way to prevent bullying is to talk to your children about bullying. Depending on your relationship with your child and their willingness to share, you may have to wait until they approach you instead of prying information out of them. It takes a great deal of courage for your child to tell you that he or she is being bullied, so it’s important that you take it seriously and keep your emotions in check. Reiterate to your child that you want to help end the bullying and prevent it from happening again. Don’t hold back from asking your son or daughter who was involved, how it happened, and where each bullying incident has taken place. The more details you can obtain about the bullying episodes, the greater the chance of putting an end to the abuse when you contact school officials.
2. Listen to Your Kids: Once you’ve established an open line of communication with your child, it’s so important that you listen intently to what he or she is saying. Listen to the details of your child’s bullying episodes so you can report these facts to school officials. Bullying is a sensitive subject for both the child and parent. You may be tempted to lash out at the bully’s parents or give the school a piece of your mind, but this irrational behavior could make matters worse. Before jumping to action, allow your child to share his or her experiences and simply listen. If your kid hasn’t opened up about being bullied or bullying others, give them a chance to tell you first, but always keep your ears open for anything that’s out of the norm or worrisome.
3. Look for Signs: Children of all ages have a way of keeping things from their parents, especially when they are being bullied. Your son or daughter may hold back from telling you because they are embarrassed, don’t want to be a “tattletale” or are afraid that you might intervene and make it worse. If you think something could be wrong but your child’s lips are sealed, you should be on the lookout for signs of bullying. You may not necessarily see your child crying or sulking, but there are almost always signs that something is wrong. Victims of bullying often display signs of depression, loneliness and

cforms contact form by delicious:days

Get professional help. Repeated bullying causes severe emotional harm and erode your child’s fragile self-esteem. Boys and girls are also bullied differently: girls are more likely to be victims of emotional and verbal bullying while boys are usually bullied by physical harm or threat. But whether the bullying was verbal, physical or relational, the long-term effects are equally harmful.

Both boys and girls reported high levels of emotional distress and loneliness as well as lower self-esteem, loneliness, anxiety and depression. Seek the help of a trained mental health professional.

What to Do if Bullying Intensifies

Here are things to do if your previous efforts fail and bullying intensifies. These steps will not be easy but are crucial. If bullying is intensifying your child’s physical or mental safety may be in jeopardy.

Be ready to advocate. If there’s ever the possibility your child could be injured–step in. Do not assume this is a “phase” that will go away by itself. If this behavior continues your child needs help and cannot handle this on his or her own. Don’t expect your child to do so.

Notify authorities and gather support. Tell those directly responsible for your child (his teacher, coach, pediatrician, day-care worker). A multidisciplinary approach in which all adults in your child’s life are involved to find a solution is best. Talk to the school nurse: victims often go to the nurse’s office complaining of physical complains as an escape.

Mobilize support. Get other parents on board with you. If your child’s school is not taking this seriously, go to the superintendent and to the board of education. Don’t stop. Keep going up the ladder. Get the media involved if necessary.

And do not let anyone tell you that bullying can’t be prevented. Hogwash! Check out Dan Olweus’ research in Norway. Over 650 schools were able to reduce bullying by over 50 percent in three years, which is significant.

Worksheets and assemblies don’t stop bullying. Systemic change in the school culture, clear expectations, and getting all stakeholders on board and on the same page does.

cforms contact form by delicious:days

It’s been ten years, but I am still haunted by the memory.

It was in Ottawa, Canada. I had just finished giving a keynote address on bullying to a large group of educators. A gentleman was quietly waiting by the stairs of the stage to speak with me.

As I approached the man, he silently handed me a picture of an adorable eleven-year old boy. With tears in his eyes, the man thanked me for my speech and explained that the photo was his son who had hung himself because he was bullied.

The father said he had to talk to me. He’d listened to my talk and said he knew that if people had only listened to what I said about bullying, his son would be alive today. He asked me to please keep warning parents of the horrific consequences. I promised that father I’d never give up, we hugged, and then he quietly walked away.

I’ve carried that child’s photo with me every day since. I’ve shared it with hundreds of parents and educators everywhere I speak. It’s my reminder that adults need to take bullying far more seriously. We must tune into our children closer, listen and believe them, and then step in if necessary so a child does not have deal with cold-blooded cruel attacks alone.

And we better quicken our pace.

Studies find that 160,000 children skip school every day because they fear being attacked or intimidated by other students.

A recent study prepared for the American Psychological Association showed that 80 percent of middle school students admit to bullying behavior in the prior 30 days.

Research shows bullying is escalating and bullies are more likely to be aggressive and could carry a weapon.

There is also another danger. The United States Secret Service studied over 30 school shootings. Could they develop a profile of a school shooter? The answer was no, but they did find one commonality:

Each school shooter had been bullied intensely by peers, and no adult ever intervened.

Bullied children can become bullies.

cforms contact form by delicious:days

Bullying is almost always a repeated behavior. That means once a child is targeted she usually continues to be targeted.

Bullying is almost always a repeated behavior. That means once a child is targeted she usually continues to be targeted.

If this is your child, you must intervene. A bullied child cannot solve this problem on her own, but needs a caring, competent adult on his or her side.

Here are first steps to take if your child is a victim:

Research finds that 49 percent of kids say they’ve been bullied at least once or twice during the school term but only 32 percent of their parents believed them.

Take your child seriously. Research finds that 49 percent of kids say they’ve been bullied at least once or twice during the school term but only 32 percent of their parents believed them. Listen to your child!

Gather facts. Next, you need all the facts so you can help your kid create a plan to stop it. “What happened?” “Who did this?” “Where were you?” “Who was there?” “Were you alone?” “Has it happened before?” “How often?” “How does it start?” “What did you do?” “Do you think he’ll do it again?” “Did anyone help you?” “Did an adult see this?” Those facts will help you create a safety plan for your child based on where the bullying is taking place (and bullying usually happens at the same time and place!)

Offer specific tips for a plan of action. Most kids can’t handle bullying on their own: they need your help, so provide a specific plan. For instance, if bullying is happening on the bus tell your child to sit on the right side across from the the bus driver so he can watch (the worse place to sit is near the back on the right hand side where the driver can’t see the passengers in the mirror). You could ask an older kid to “watch out” for your child, or offer to pick your child up from school.

Identify a trusting adult. Find an adult who can help your child when you’re not around. It must be someone who’ll take this seriously, protect your child, and, if necessary, keep this confidential. It could be a secretary, teacher, neighbor, school nurse, bus driver, or even the custodian—anyone your child trusts. Preteens are far less likely to seek help .This is also the time bullying can be most intense and the victim feels trapped and isolated.

cforms contact form by delicious:days

Expect protection. Get specifics: “What will you do to ensure my child’s safety?” If you do not get support go up a level: call the principal, superintendent, school board or the police.

No face-to-face contact. Distance your child from the bully: class, lunch, bus, team. Ideally the bully should not come within a certain number of feet of your child. Don’t allow a child who is bullied to be put in a “conflict resolution” situation to “air out differences” with a bully. This is not the bullied child’s problem nor is it a “conflict.” This is cold-blooded, one-way intentional cruelty on the part of the bully.

Be prepared for resistance. Don’t be surprised if you are told to “toughen your kid up.” And don’t be shocked if the bully’s parent is a bully herself.

In a national PTA survey found only one fourth of parents support contacting other parents to deal with bullying.

A bully’s parent usually denies their kid is guilty and may blame your child as well and feel you are criticizing her parenting.

Get an objective outsider if necessary. You may need to get an objective outsider like a principal or day care supervisor to mediate. A diplomatic: “I’m concerned about the relationship between our kids” may be your best opener.

Remain vigilant. You may need to change your child’s classes, team, or in some cases even schools to protect your kid. You may also need to go to the police and even hire an attorney.

Repeated bullying causes severe emotional harm and erode your child’s fragile self-esteem and cause high levels of emotional distress and loneliness as well as anxiety and depression. If you see these changes happening in your child then do not wait..

Think of the picture of that precious little boy. His father would urge you to call for help.

Dr. Michele Borba, Parenting Expert

I am an educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor and author of 22 books.

Be sure to visit my website and follow me on Twitter.

You can also refer to my daily blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check for ongoing parenting solutions and late-breaking news about child development.